Should he? Should he not?
by v33na
Summary: Set right before Byakuya and Renji come to pick Rukia from the Real World. This is mostly from Byakuya's POV. The fic is based on the first part of the lyrics. Anyway, enjoy! ,


**A/N **

Whoo!! my first ever fic! So excited! It's a song fic sorta. I got my inspiration from the song Away by Breaking Benjamin, who are a rocking band by the way! This fic is set right before Byakuya and Renji come to pick Rukia from the Real World. This is mostly from Byakuya's POV. The fic is based on the first part of the lyrics "I see you, cuz you wont get outta my way" Anyway, enjoy! ^^,

**I see you**

**Cuz you won't get out of my way**

"How bothersome," he muttered in irritation. He had always been a light sleeper, but this was different. Sleep was simply eluding him; playing mind games, in cahoots with a murderous migraine. He wished he could swat them away with one wave of his hand. He didn't need this tonight. It had been a long day, and the next would be even longer.

He barely had any supper that evening, too engrossed in his thoughts to be hungry. Instead, he just had a cup of tea and went to bed. Strangely, his mind was in too much of turmoil to notice her absence that evening, though she was all he could think about at the moment.

At the moment, he was lying in bed, tossing and turning, trying to understand why. He _knew_ why things were the way they were, he just did not understand why he was having trouble following these simple orders!

"Dammit!" he cursed softly under his breath as he got off the futon. He needed to think clearly. A cool breeze always helped. Getting up, he walked crossed the designer room, slid open the fusuma doors and stepped out into the chilly night air. His silky hair ruffled in the breeze as he slowly started his walk to the Middle Court. The patio of green grass also held one of the most beautiful gifts of nature in all of Soul Society. Located in the very center of the huge manor was a large shidarezakura tree. Most of the sakura trees in Soul Society were Somei Yoshino, and the Kuchiki mansion did have its fair share of the popular variety. But it was the shidarezakura that was most famous. It was tall with its branches falling like those of a weeping hollow. The petals were pale pink, almost white. The tree was most beautiful under a full moon. It was almost ironic, the most picturesque cherry blossom tree in a place where it would rarely be viewed by the least of people. After all, commoners never were let into a noble household; not for Hanami, not for any reason.

Kuchiki Byakuya didn't Shunpo to arrive at the marveled tree, using the time it would take to get there to clear his head a bit. He could not face _her_ confused.

The noble Kuchiki arrived at the tree, not even stopping to stare in awe at the stark beauty of the pale pink petals in the moonlight. He was too occupied. Gingerly, he set his body down to the ground. Resting his back against the bark of the tree, Byakuya recalled the events of that day…

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It started out as any other day. The Captain was in his office doing paperwork. It was the vice-captain's job but Byakuya quickly came to learn his new lieutenant was more at home in the battlefield rather than cooped up in an office, up to his tattooed eyebrows in recruits and practice run results.

Besides, it wasn't like the Captain had a hobby, or even friends for that matter. That was the problem with being a noble; you could never just be yourself around people. Byakuya was free spirited once, he was hot headed and abrasive and acted idiotically. Not anymore. Not since he was declared 28th head of the Kuchiki Clan, when duties and responsibilities piled onto him until he was a mere shadow of himself, stripped of his emotion: his needs and wants ignored by obligation. The Byakuya that people saw now was in complete contrast to the youthful Byakuya of a hundred years ago.

Byakuya held his brush in mid air momentarily having lost concentration. He was worried about Rukia's two month long absence. It was her first big assignment. He only hoped she was fine. It was thanks to him she was not a seated officer, and rightfully so! Seated officers got more responsibility, got sent out to dangerous missions, some even fatal! Rukia had unknowingly been denied a promotion to lieutenant of the Thirteenth Division. Maybe that's why Ukitake had sent her to that town. He had done his research though and was well aware of the minimal dangers in Karakura town.

_Of course she was alright,_ he told himself. The only reason he allowed her to go to the Human World was because she had improved greatly in all her skills. _She would be fine with just a simple mission. Nothing would happen. So why had she overstayed?_ _Had the pleasures of the real world overtaken her? Why was she taking so long? Silly girl, didn't she know that was a crime punishable by the Central 46?? _Over and over his mind repeated the questions, hoping that everything was fine with Rukia.

His attention was interrupted by his lieutenant. Abarai Renji. The thick-headed brute from Rukongai distracted him with his loud, abrasive voice. He seemed to be talking to someone in his previous squad, the one captained by the animal Zaraki Kenpachi. He did not want to eavesdrop, but his interest piqued when Renji mentioned Rukia. Hope flashed through Byakuya's eyes. Maybe she had come home at last. It would make sense that the first person she would go meet would be her childhood friend. After all, Byakuya was nothing but cold towards her after all.

The person Renji was talking to had a low voice so all he could hear was Renji's side of the conversation.

"Yes," Renji was saying, "That baka Rukia was gone before she learned of my promotion! Can't wait to see the look on her face when she hears that I'm her brother's vice captain! Hahaha!"

Byakuya cringed mentally at the uncultured laugh. And to think this mere boy was hopelessly in love with his sister. Ha, like he would ever let her marry dog like that. Rukia was, after all, part of nobility now. Marrying for love was a phenomenon that the upper class did not experience often. Kami-sama seemed to favor Byakuya for a reason for he happened to find his true love!

As the head of the clan, Byakuya wielded a lot of influence over Rukia's life; her adoption met resistance, but he easily sidestepped it. Because of Byakuya, Rukia did not even need to pass the Gotei 13 Entrance exams. And neither did she know the real reason she was adopted. In addition, it was because of his great authority, Rukia was not promoted to vice captain despite meeting all the necessary requirements. Too bad for that redhead; he didn't have Byakuya's blessings. In fact, he'd be the first to oppose any sort of romance between him and Rukia.

Rukia.

Since when did he think of her as Rukia and not his little sister?

Byakuya shrugged off the question. This was not the time and place to envision her petite frame, her cheerful spirit and that face… That face that was the reason he could not look at her lest…

"Kuchiki-taichou!"

Byakuya was glad for the distraction. His thoughts had been wandering to unwanted waters…

His head turned to the man kneeling just in front of his door. The messengers from the First Squad were like that: quick and discreet. You wouldn't even notice them when they appeared right before you until they began delivering their message.

"Yes," Byakuya replied, barely looking up, his hand resuming the elegant swishes as he finally went back to his paperwork.

"Yamamoto-taichou requests your presence along with that of Abarai-fukutaichou to the Captain's Room immediately, sir!" reported the messenger. Byakuya did not bother asking why. They would be told at the meeting. Besides, if he was really curious, he could eavesdrop on the louder captains and vice captains as they discussed probable details. The messenger disappeared almost immediately, Shunpoing to wherever it is they reported to after delivering their message.

Byakuya finished up quickly, not wanting to keep the Commander-general waiting. He was at least assured he would not be the last captain to arrive at the meeting. Soi Fon was always the last captain to arrive. To her defense, Shunsui was always the last captain to arrive. Standing up, he straightened his scarf and robes before stepping out of his office.

The noble was quite irritated when he found his captain staring into space. Hiding the irritation from his face with the infamous Kuchiki Blank Expression, he said, "Seems you have a lot of time on your hands Abarai Renji. Maybe I should add your paperwork?"

The stupid redhead startled, surprised to see his captain standing just outside his door, beautiful face turned away from him as if it would give him a zit to just look Renji in the eye!

"Taichou!" he exclaimed, "Do you always sneak up on people like that?"

Silence.

Of course, the captain never wasted his words answering dumb questions from dumb people like him. He did not care if Renji was dead bored, worried about Rukia and hated paperwork thus could barely sense his captain walking up to him. Renji added that bit to his list of 'Things that Kuchiki Byakuya does that I have to do too if I want to surpass him'; Sneak up on people and make them feel like complete idiots!

"Renji, we have been called to a meeting, so if you don't mind, fit spacing out to another part of your busy schedule." The sarcasm was not lost on Renji. Why were all nobles snobbish, emotionless sarcastic bastards? Did they have special classes in the Shinigami Academy??

"Hai!" said Renji, quickly standing up and following his captain soundlessly. They both shunpoed to the 1st Squad's quarters. Upon reaching, Renji followed seven paces behind his captain. Yes, he counted. Byakuya had stated on the very first day that he was not to be too close to him, something about vast differences in their status… He really did not pay attention, too thrilled about being this close to the man who stole his Rukia from him; too busy plotting how he would surpass him. The next time he was required to be with his Captain, he'd forgotten (obviously), but Byakuya reminded him by focusing his reiatsu at Renji, immobilizing the redhead for a good seven paces! Since then, he always counted.

The lack of the usual din as the captains and vice captains made their way to the Captain's Chambers stood out to Byakuya. There was always that banter from Kyoraku-taichou as he teased his fukutaichou, who in turn hit him with a book the size of an encyclopedia! But Byakuya was sure that he was not late! He shrugged it off. Maybe they were early…

Byakuya masked his confusion upon entering into the Chambers to find Yamamoto-taichou patiently waiting. The Commander-general was usually the last to arrive. This meant that the meeting was a private one. This only escalated the noble's curiosity. Why would Yamamoto-taichou want to tell to just him and his vice-captain? He dared hoped that he was going to be given the chance to fire the knucklehead and pick a more worthy deputy! That was a long shot, however.

He stood at his usual spot, eyes downcast as if not paying attention to his surroundings. Renji stood behind him, arms behind his back, staring straight ahead. This was the second time in front of the Captain-commander since his promotion. He could not sense any tension. Maybe it was normal to have Yamamoto-taichou hold meetings with single squads. He wouldn't know…

"Thank you, Kuchiki-taichou and Abarai fukutaichou for showing up to this meeting. I know it is uncommon to hold one-on-one meetings, but this is a special circumstance." stated the Commander General, getting straight to the point.

"This is very urgent business that concerns the both of you personally," he continued. "As you both know, Kuchiki Rukia was sent on a mission to the Real World two months ago." Both the captain and vice captain's attention sharpened at her name. "It was confirmed a month ago that she was aware that her time had expired, yet she did not return to Soul Society. We suspect that she has fallen prey to the wonders and pleasures of the real world and will not return of her own free will. As you both know, it is a crime for a Shinigami to remain in the Human world beyond their time limit. This is deemed as living a second life.

"The situation, however, is graver than it looks. Kuchiki Rukia gave her Shinigami powers to a human. This is an even more serious felony and complicates the circumstances. It has therefore been decided by Central 46 that the both of you should go retrieve Rukia and bring her, along with her gigai, to Soul Society. Her punishment shall be decided forthwith."

There was silence when the Commander-general finished his address. The two leaders of the 6th Squad slowly processing everything they had just been told. _Her time had expired. It was a crime. _They_ were to return her. She was to be punished?!_

"What exactly does the Central 46 plan on doing with her?" Renji asked, not even trying to hide the worry in his voice.

"That is for the Central 46 to know." answered Yamamoto curtly. Byakuya resisted from shaking his head, his vice captain was so dense sometimes. Did he not know that transferring your powers to a human was a capital offence, punishable even by death!

"Pardon me," Byakuya started, "But shouldn't the 13th Squad take care of this? She is under Ukitake-taichou after all."

"Yes, Kuchiki-taichou, you are right. But I thought she might accompany the two of you more willingly as she knows you personally. Besides, should there be resistance, you should overpower her easily. She may be at vice-captain level, but nowhere near your leagues." stated Yamamoto.

Renji kept his mouth shut, not wanting to embarrass himself in front of Byakuya, again.

"You should also be aware that the human who took Kuchiki's powers is the one who killed the Menos Grande that appeared in Karakura two days ago."

All this sudden information was puzzling. Why would Rukia give her powers to a human? He knew for a fact Rukia was proud of being a Soul Reaper and was always training to become better! Byakuya was a witness to her focus and determination! Moreover, how could the human who took her powers suddenly be capable of killing a Menos with barely any training? It all just did not add up, Byakuya thought to himself.

"You have your orders," Yamamoto-taichou said, cutting through Byakuya's thoughts. "You may leave." And he tapped his cane heavily on the floor.

Byakuya gave a curt nod of respect, turned and walked out elegantly. You wouldn't be able to tell that his head was practically spinning from all the questions because his face remained cold and impassive as always.

"Taichou, what do you think her punishment will be? Will she be exiled?" he asked, three steps too close. He did not consider how stupid he sounded; a whole vice captain asking about the most basic rules of Sereitei.

Trying not to sound exasperated, Byakuya replied, "No, Renji. She will be executed."

Byakuya's mind switched off that instance when it properly dawned on him that his duty required him to bring back Rukia; no his _sister_ to be killed. It was a conflict of interest, he told himself, duty over promise; his obligation over his word. But this was a lie. He knew the real reason he was hesitating, why he was thinking over the consequences of bringing Rukia home.

For once, he was grateful for Renji's mumblings. He turned his attention back to his lieutenant as a distraction. As long as he did not admit those feelings, as long as he _ignored_ them, he could think clearly. So he answered when Renji asked why it was a capital crime: _Why should a Shinigami be alive if she does not have her powers? _Couldn't she get them back? _Unless the human who took her powers was killed._ Then it's easy, taichou! We'll just go after the bugger who took her powers, bring her back home and celebrate! I wonder how she'll react to me being a vice captain! Hahaha… Renji droned.

Byakuya only wished it would be that easy. Even if they killed the human and her powers returned, it would be up to Central 46 to change their ruling. The Central 46 had never altered their verdict. Ever. And so the conflict within Byakuya began. Should he? Should he not? Over and over, he repeated the questions in his mind: As he walked back to the Kuchiki manor _(should he? should he not?)_ As he had supper, looking at that empty spot that she would sit at when they dined together (_should he? should he not?)_ When he passed by her room as he headed towards his, when he laid down to sleep… should he, should he not? Should he? Should he not? Until he could sleep no more and got up to ask someone else. That part of his conscience. The all knowing, Senbonzakura.

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There he was, the noble Kuchiki Byakuya, sitting on the ground, using the ancient yet marvelous cherry blossom tree as a back rest, Senbonzakura at his side. It was quite a sight; to see his beautiful face in the moonlight, milky white skin in sharp contrast to the dark bark of the tree, hair softly moving in the breeze, free of the green-white kenseikan that held it by day. A certain pink-haired girl would just die to see him like this. Too bad though…

He had been sitting there, eyes closed for a few seconds, clearing his head, gathering his thoughts, collecting memories… Senbonzakura paid attention to every particular he gave her, just like he appreciated details when being given reports. So with his information ready, Byakuya crossed his legs, positioning his palms on his knees, Senbonzakura resting tentatively on his open palms.

A wind rustled and petals from the tree showered on him, and he was there: in Senbonzakura's universe. It was a huge field covered with mile-high sakura trees till as far as the eye could see. The petals always rained in this world, the trees however held never-ending blossoms. Everything was a mass of pink: the ground was draped in it, the sky was covered with over a million petals floating gently to the ground…Yet, being a man, it wasn't 'scary' to be surrounded by so much pink. It was a soft, pink-white color, resembling a light blush on a girl's cheeks…The scent of cherry filled the air, and even with the lack of a breeze, it was nice and cool.

Byakuya felt her approach. He didn't have to open his eyes; he could see her in his mind's eye. She looked to be around twelve years old and had knee length long, wavy snow white hair. Her face was expressionless yet exuded an aura of wisdom way beyond her apparent years. He could see her slow, elegant steps, straight back, pulled back shoulders, nose slightly in the air; lips shut lightly, hands folded in front of her. Just like Byakuya, her eyes were half lidded, down cast. Not in disappointment or timidity but in deep thought. He remembered how her eyes used to be wide open before they found their color, and with color came the rain of a lot of thoughts, questions, problems, responsibilities… She did not open them to just about anyone. Byakuya was the only being, soul or Zanpaktou to see the color of her irises.

She halted next to a sitting Byakuya. "Hello, Byakuya-sama" she said. Her voice was deep, completely unlike her years. It was then that Byakuya opened his eyes to look her in the face. Eyes met. Deep gray looked into mysterious black and pink eyes. Before Byakuya accomplished Shikai, a lot of things were different. This universe was a normal field, the trees always in full bloom. The ground was covered with green, green grass, the sun streamed in from above the high trees and Senbonzakura was blind. He had to train her to open her eyes; to see. That way he learned to direct the petals to attack. Before that, the tiny pink blades would swim about, carried by the wind currents. It was not a guarantee that his opponent would get wounded. But Byakuya figured if he learned Bankai he could gain better control of the blades, and so he spent days and days in the cherry blossom-filled universe, seeking answers. When he finally did, Senbonzakura's eyes became pink, a dark pink. And from then, Byakuya could use the pink blade petals as a defense, gaining unfathomable control, even eventually learning Senkei, which he used only found use for once.

When Byakuya met and finally married Hisana, his entire world was complete. Senbonzakura, like him, always wore a slight smile on her face, her eyes looked up and into his every time and he could swear the petals in the trees were shaped like love hearts. Then Hisana got sick, crying for her sister, awash with guilt and eventually passed on. It was at that time that the blossoms started raining from the sky. Senbonzakura went back to her old emotionless self, just when Byakuya needed a companion, a hug, a smile, and he soon changed too. Aloof, snobbish and cold. That happy world full of heart shaped sakura never returned.

Then came Rukia. He had watched her endlessly before finally adopting her. At first, he was dumbstruck at their similarities, which he later realized were strictly confined to physical traits only. Unlike Hisana, Rukia was alive! She was always happy, smiling, and active… He watched her with that redhead friend of hers, they seemed pretty close.

Every night after seeing her, however, Byakuya would curse her, curse the gods. Why did she have to appear now? Where was she a year ago when Hisana lay in that bed, crying guilty tears for the sister she abandoned. Where the hell was she when he and Hisana searched for her relentlessly after they came out of their honey moon? But he had made a promise on his wife's deathbed; that he would protect that nameless, faceless sister of hers. That relative of hers who was the reason she died even before they could enjoy the first bloom of the cherry blossoms. He had to protect _her_. And after seeing Rukia, Byakuya could not see how he could not. He went to the elders and told them about the planned adoption. They opposed, he forced their hand and they accepted. But not without consequences. Byakuya had almost torn apart the noble Kuchiki household. His flouting of the rules would have thrown the clan into a scandal that was still talked about even today. And so he made an oath on the graves of his parents, that he would never break the rules. Ever.

And that was when Senbonzakura's eyes shattered. It was too much. She was a reflection of his soul after all. Duty, responsibility, pledges, oaths… It was too much conflict for one soul to take, and so, till this day, Senbonzakura's eyes are shattered yet giving the illusion that petals were raining in her eyes.

"Come," said the little girl with her mature voice, "Let's take a walk."

Byakuya swiftly got on his feet and walked in step with the girl. Senbonzakura embodied poise. Even the petals fell about her feet gracefully. Not one to beat about the bush however, the young sage asked, "What conflict troubles you this time, Byakuya-sama?"

And so Byakuya explained, listed everything in such a manner you would not even believe. He showed emotion; you read his mood in the tone of his voice! It was like an alien had entered and taken over his body! But no, that was the real him! The Byakuya very few got to know and everyone would love. Senbonzakura, it seemed, was the only being he could be his old self with because she wouldn't give him a look of surprise or shock. He couldn't be an emotionless bastard everyday now could he?

Byakuya sighed when he was done. They stopped as Senbonzakura mulled things over. He couldn't guess what she was thinking. Her gaze, as always, was downcast. A few minutes later, she looked up at him, her snow bangs framing her heart shaped face and asked: "What is the problem here, Byakuya? The answer is quite evident to me, why can't you see it?"

Byakuya resisted sighing again. He wouldn't want t annoy Senbonzakura, not where he was surrounded by more than a hundred billion weapons at her disposal. She saw it in his eyes, his confusion and desperation. She smiled as she reached out for his hand. When they touched, their surroundings seemed to change. He was no longer in a field of cherry blossoms but on a cliff, wearing nothing but a pair of tan slacks. Senbonzakura then placed her small hands on Byakuya's chest, pushing him off the cliff to the rocky ground below.

Then the images started flashing: Hisana on her deathbed. He couldn't hear what she was saying but could read the words she was mouthing: "Protect her with your power, Byakuya-sama. Protect her with your heart." The scene changed and he was in Shinigami Academy taking a stroll. For some reason, his eyes wandered to a window on the first floor. The new students were in a lesson. And that's when he saw her. The resemblance was so uncanny, he almost shunpoed to the window to confirm it _wasn't_ her! But he controlled himself and watched from her from his position. The way she sat, her posture screamed noble! After she was adopted, life slowly began to change. He noticed how the servants always smiled at her when they addressed her. The manor was a warmer place, and her sometimes one sided conversations at breakfast and dinner always pleased him. She had changed his life just as much as he had changed hers, though he had trouble showing it. He let her use the private practice quarters on the clan property. He had watched her grow, pushing herself to become better; to become like him, perhaps? Her Reiatsu may not have been that impressive, for a noble at least, but she had great skills with Kidou! At times he would help her with demon magic practice, still waiting for the time to teach her Shunpo. She had improved so much in a century…

Too bad she would have to die.

That was when Byakuya thought about his life without her. It would be back to gloom and doom. Boring meals, lifeless house, nothing to look forward to at the end of the day. Not the warm violet orbs as they looked up at him in awe and respect. Not that tough voice of hers as she bossed Renji around. Oh Kami, and he would have to live with that redhead's sulky mood after she was gone. Maybe there was a way around this. She didn't have to die, did she? Yes, there was always a loophole in the law. He would find it. He would use it and protect Rukia. He had promised hadn't he? Promised to protect with all he could. No, it would be an insult to Hisana's memory to let Rukia die without even trying.

This was the second time Senbonzakura had used this technique on Byakuya. The first time he was conflicted about marrying Hisana. Of course he was in love with Hisana, but this was the first time he attempted breaking the rules. Senbonzakura had taken him to that very cliff, pushed him off, and by the time his life with Hisana flashed before his eyes, he had landed softly on a mattress of petals that Senbonzakura had readied. They married the next day.

He was had finished thinking about Rukia, come up with a possible solution yet he did not feel the petal mattress. This was taking way too long. He opened his eyes and to his surprise, he was still falling, the ground now zooming closer and closer. He could clearly make out the rocks and boulders that he would land on. His heart started pumping faster as adrenaline filled is vessels. Terror overcame him and he shut his eyes, waiting for the impact. But it didn't come. Gingerly, he opened his eyes and saw, for the first time ever, the view from the tops of those endless trees. He was gliding smoothly, in awe at the expanse of Senbonzakura's world…

"Believe." A voice whispered in his ear. It was then that he realized Senbonzakura was carrying him. "Just let go and believe." She repeated. His eyes shut against the warm breeze that blew up there.

"Let go…" he repeated to himself.

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Byakuya slowly opened his eyes as he woke up from the dream. He was still sitting at the cherry blossom tree that was at the centre of the Kuchiki mansion. The sky showed signs of the first streaks of daylight, painting the far horizon a light orange. He got up and walked back to his room. Today he would spend the day in the Kuchiki Archives. It was his clan's responsibility after all to take care of Sereitei's history. He would find that loophole, and when he got back to Soul Society with Rukia, she would be safe. She _would_ could home…

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A/N

Well, there it is! Haha, there'll definetly be more coming, but i dont know how often. oh, and i hoped you noticed the lil ByaxRuki i put in there. i just love any pairing with Rukia!! so forgive me if you think its incest or watever... Anyway, read and review! :)


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